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| Typical bye week blues |
The bye weeks are tougher than the chemo weeks because there are no daily doctors visits. These are the days we are on our own. And when I am left to my own devices, I am not sure that's positive.
So the second cycle is complete, as Annie has outlined in the previous post. And now we wait. We wait again for Blaise's counts to drop, as they inevitably will. We wait and see how he handles everything. This waiting is not like waiting for another Eagles game.
On Friday, we had some friends over, and one of them said to me, "You guys seem to be holding up really well." I guess we are, but I am not sure what else we could do. I said to some guys at work today, we are just function as needed. We wake up when he wakes up, we sleep when he sleeps. We clean his sheets, do the laundry, eat and move around as he needs it. Basically, Blaise speaks, we listen. Not the way a house should be run I think.
The Weekend!
As I explained a few posts back, weekends don't have the same meaning anymore. They no longer serve as a break, they are just more days now. Days we count off until its over. But this weekend was great. We had pizza on Friday and friends over Saturday night. Sunday was great and we were outside playing for the first time since December.
We decreased Blaise's overnight feeds during chemo last week to not over tax his system, and keep off any feelings of nausea. It worked, he was great and he even had some type of appetite, still not great but better than the 1st round of chemo. We felt confident doing this because he actually gained weight going into this last round, which is a complete 180 from the first round.
I feel like this whole post is one major jinx on the road to remission. It has been so great to see Blaise be himself that, if he did not have a bald head, you would not know he has cancer.
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| Thanks for watching him Catherine! |
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| Thanks to Toy Story 3, Lucy discovered Barbie dolls |
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| Blaise thinks now is a good time to try soccer again |
The Park
The best part of growing up in Westgate Hills was the park. We spent hours there, not just during the baseball season, but all the time. Its one of the main reasons I wanted to move back here. I had such a great time growing up at the park that I wanted Blaise and Lucy to have that same experience. Now the park is a bit out dated, and there certainly are more flashy parks in Haverford Township, but Westgate Hills Park is the best.
On Sunday, I saw the best possible scene ever. I was watching Lucy climb on a slide (and face plant off it too) when I saw 2 of Blaise's buddies from school come flying in. I yelled over to Annie to get Blaise's attention and have him say "Hi" to the guys.
This is a fairly typical thing for kids to do, but I did not think Blaise would do it, and I did not think the boys would recognize Blaise. I dropped Blaise off at school each morning for 2 and a half years, and I know he is not very social. His routine is pretty standard, he sits in the same seat, eats the same thing, and does what he wants every time - no variation. And when I pick him up, he was usually heavily involved in his own game. I think Annie and I would have preferred he play with the other kids more, or talk about school and the kidsat home. But he did not. However, when picture time came around, he could name everyone of his classmates, teacher and some of the other kids too. We had no doubt Blaise enjoyed being at school with the other kids and teachers, but we just never saw why, until Sunday. First, these boys went right up to Blaise and said hello. I could see Blaise's smile from across the park. It was the most amazing smile I ever saw. Blaise was so excited to see his buddies, and they were excited to see him too. Blaise was so pumped he started going on all the things he hates, the swings and the dizzy-spinning yellow thing. It was hilarious. It was truly awesome to watch and I am so grateful we ran into these guys.
Is This Sinking in?
I am not sure Blaise gets this. I don't know what he thinks. We tell him he has cancer. We tell him we are giving him medicine, but what does that mean to 4 year old who feels pretty good right now? I can tell you that he is listening to us. He might not be understanding, but he is certainly hearing us. Remember the Kristoff doll that Annie modified? Well we have found him most mornings being Kristoff's doctors. He listens to his chest/back and gives him medicine. And he is talking to Kristoff like we talk to him,
"Let's hear a big cough!"
"I'm going to connect your button now."
"That's a great job big guy!"
So I cannot tell you what he knows. I know he knows when he feels bad, and he knows when he feels good. He does not get that its because he has cancer and all these tubes and medicine will one day make him better. I am not sure he even knows things are different. I think he thinks this is normal, and mom, dad and Lucy are still here and we're just being an awesome family in a different way now. I hope that's all he thinks!
So I do not want to say we have gotten into a routine, because everyday is new. I think we've hit a new comfort level with handling this. But i hope that comofrt level continues to increase as we go along. It is still very much unknown, but we're keeping it together, and working hard to keep things as normal for Blaise and Lucy as possible. My sister has reopened the meal calendar for people still looking to help out! It is still kind of surreal to read Blaise's name in the church paper on Sundays, but the prayers have been awesome. The cards have been great, and very overwhelming. But we're just taking it day by day, and hopefully the days become a lot less eventful! Thanks again, thank you so much!
